Chapter 2: Clothes

I've just packed up a box of clothes (17 articles thereof) I intend to donate to Purple Heart or some place. They don't fit me anymore, and they're taking up room. Some of them I may be able to fit into again, but really, they're just clothes.

Maybe this is because I am not a girl, but I do not understand the idea of being attached to clothing. Clothing, in my opinion, serves practical purposes: it keeps us warm, and at the same time, keeps us from being fired, arrested, or ostracized.

So why are so many people so obsessed with clothing? Why do people feel the need to fill their closets with so much clothes? And what's with women and shoes, really? I've never gotten a satisfactory answer on that one. But maybe we shouldn't go there just now.

Anyway, I've got my theory. We are told in Genesis that before Adam and Eve disobeyed God and introduced sin, pain, and death universally to the world (thanks, you two. No, really -- we probably wouldn't have liked Utopia anyway. Don't flex.)the two jaybirds were naked and unashamed. After sin, everything changed, and the writer of Genesis is very sure to mention the whole "we can't go out, we simply haven't a thing to wear" protest our first parents lamely offered. Enter fig leaves, and we're just several millennia away from the Gap and wherever kids are buying clothes from these days.

Anyway, here's a picture. I tried to get their good side.